#42 - Happy Thanksgiving from the Independent Center!

Wishing you a day of rest and relaxation.

Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s Some Quick Tips on How to Handle any Politics Conversations that Might Arise…

Hi Friends,

The holiday season is here—and along with the pie and laughter, sometimes politics sneak onto the menu. Instead of letting these conversations spiral into stress, here are practical ways to keep things constructive and connected.

Every Family Has That Person

Maybe it’s Uncle Ron who starts with, “This may not be politically correct, but…”
Or Aunt Carol, armed with printouts.
Or your cousin who fact-checks everyone in real time.

Meanwhile, you’re just trying to enjoy dessert in peace.

Political conversations with family feel different than with friends or colleagues—not because the issues are harder, but because the relationships are deeper. Family knows which buttons to push, and somehow, they always do.

But you don’t have to let dinner turn into a debate stage. Here are six strategies from my conversation with psychologist Kurt Gray, author of Outraged.

1. Name What’s Really Happening

When a stranger argues, it’s weird.
When family argues, it feels personal—even when it shouldn’t.

You’re reacting not just to the comment, but to:

• The last 15 times you’ve had this argument

• That offhand remark from 2011 you still remember

• The feeling they’re not hearing you

Simply acknowledging, “Of course this feels harder—it’s family,” can take the pressure off.

2. Use the Little Pause

That flash of heat, tight chest, urge to fire back? Pause.
Take a breath. Sip water. Pretend you left something in the oven.

Your nervous system resets, and you choose your response instead of reacting.

3. Ask One Simple Question

If someone drops a political grenade, try:
“What makes you say that?”

Genuinely. Not sarcastically.

This slows things down, forces them off autopilot, and gives you space to breathe. Sometimes, they realize they don’t even know why they said it.

4. Make Your Goal Connection, Not Competition

Fact-checking family rarely works. Winning? Even less so.

Better moves sound like:

• “I hear what you’re saying…”

• “Here’s where I’m coming from…”

• “I think we care about the same things, even if we disagree on policy.”

If your goal is connection, these work. If your goal is to win, expect stress.

5. Know What You’re Actually Trying to Accomplish

Holiday dinners aren’t congressional hearings.
You don’t have to fix anyone or remake their worldview before dessert.

It’s okay to say:

• “I love you. Let’s agree to disagree.”

• “I appreciate your commitment to fairness/safety/well-being.”

Sometimes the brave move is disengaging from the argument and re-engaging in the relationship.

6. Take Breaks—Seriously

If things get heated or you’re just tired, give yourself permission to:

• Refill your drink

• Step outside for fresh air

• Help in the kitchen

• Pet the dog

Bonus points if you walk away calmly before you feel like stomping off.

Bottom Line

You don’t have to avoid politics—and you don’t have to argue either.
With a few tools, the right mindset, and a little compassion (for yourself and everyone else), you can keep the holidays joyful and connected.

Lura

The Independent Center is the go-to organization for information, research, and engagement with independent voters, who now make up the plurality of the electorate.

We represent those who are fed up with partisan politics and feel politically homeless. We believe the future is not red or blue; it’s fiscally responsible, socially inclusive, and free to choose the best options for ourselves, our families, and our communities.